BACK OF BEYOND TIMES - ISSUE 1.
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THE GREAT GAME AT BACK OF BEYOND BEGINS!!! |
KASHGAR, October, 31. - Today's news headlines inform the world of a great phenomenon. I gave up my previous hobbies, my car and my fantasy miniatures collection. I even quit my job. I then bought a horse and a gun and went to Kashgar, a little village in Asian. Situated nearly Tibet, the top of the world, this place is full of daredevils, sharks, soldiers and adventurers from every nation. There where men and mountains meet, I founded a paper titled "Back of Beyond Times". You might ask yourself the following questions. "Why is he doing it? What's going through his mind? What is he up to?"
First, I would like to tell you a short story. A long, time ago, there was a five-year-old boy who lived in a far away land called Russia. He was a good boy and he obeyed to his parents. Most of the time at least. Because he was so well-behaved, his parents gave him a present: some little plastic figurines. These were great collectibles. Well, that is what they boy thought at the time. The miniatures were flat (2D), and red. The figurines represented the red army soldiers from the time of the Russian civil war. The boy was happy and played with them day and night. It was a beautiful time for him. Carefree and peaceful.
Many years later, the boy had grown and the miniatures had been lost. One day he saw other figures. These were prettier and much better. Warhammer time began. He bought many Warhammer figures and played with them. He learned to paint them. His collection became large. His shelves were full of humans, orcs, monsters, dwarves, animals and war machines.
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Later as a grown man, he heard of an exceptional miniatures line by Master Copplestone. He was very excited. When he came home he decided to search for them on the internet. The miniatures were fantastic and the Russian figurines had impressed him the most.
Thinking back, he saw himself at the age of five, proudly showing his friends his present. He thought about himself sitting on the sofa and playing with the figures. It was in the middle of nowhere. He remembers that there was a snowstorm outside and he was sitting in the living room in his parents' house with many little minis in front of him. It was a good time. Everything seemed so easy and good. Nothing is effortless today but there are the miniatures and there is the memory of being a little boy.
We are not going to be sad; we must conquer Tibet. What am I up to? Well, many things. I would like to buy more figures. What am I saying? I have already bought so many of them! I want to build some terrain pieces to match with the 20s time. Perhaps what I need are some vehicles, an airplane and a train. Oh and yes, a ship as well. One day I will make a great game or few great games with my treasures. And all everyone will be envious of it. After all of that? I don't know. Perhaps I will buy more figures and build up another army or will make more terrain. I have no idea at the moment and it doesn't matter to me. And that was the abridged version of my plan. Now let us begin!
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WAR!!!
BRITISH SEND ULTIMATUM TO LENIN
Gives Soviet Envoy Till Friday to Answer British Note
STILL WAITING ON AMERICA
CHINA TROOPS
ENTER SIN-KIANG
Ngolok Leader Tarakantra
Is Killed in Kashgar
Bandits Attacked the White Russians Convoy
WHO WILL PROTECT TIBET?!
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RED ARMY IS COMING!
The british fortification lines have been overwhelmed by Russians!
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BOCHARA, October, 31. Russian troops broke the stiff British opposition near Bochara and captured the British fortifications. |
There were heavy casualities, the Brits fought a hard battle but they have been overwhelmed by numerical superiority or Russians. The British army withdrew from Bochara and the Reds are marching directly toward the Kin-Siang. The red commissar Ivan Suchov: "We bring the freedom to Tibet!" What kind of freedom will it be?
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MISS RED ASIA
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TASHKENT, October, 31. The yearly revolutionary marathon Miss Red Asia begins soon! |
Fatima Asylbekova, one of the favorites of the really big and really red show: "I am the beautiest!"
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Local News
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KASHGAR, October, 31. General Cappy Boyd & his Expatriate Mercenaries
are arrived in Kashgar |
General Boyd, the old school soldier: "We give a good service to our customers. For good price, of course."
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SEDOV STARTED
EXPEDITION TO
NORTH POLE
The Arctic takes hold of the next victim
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NOVAYA ZEMLYA, October, 31. The well-known russian Arctic Explorer Georgi Sedov had left the Isle Novaya Zemlya. |
He aims to reach the great demanded point on this planet, the North Pole. What a bravery! We hope, Sedov will survive, so many peoples were lost in the embracement of the cold already.
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MAD BARON ISN'T DEAD!
Evening Performance by "The Crazy Comissar"
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KASHGAR, October, 31. The infamous White Officer Ungern-Sternberg alias "Mad Baron" was supposed to be dead. |
The suspicion proved wrong, the Mad Baron had been seen yesterday in the bar "The Crazy Commissar" making a hot-headed speech about his alleged Chinggis Khan origin. Somebody in the audience said: "I haven't laughed as hard in a long time". Well, laughter is the best medicine, also in Tibet. Thank You, Baron!
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